I was engrossed in BBC2's coverage of this evening's final session of the World Championship snooker final between John Higgins and Judd Trump when my wife delved into the pregnancy and birth books that have been gathering dust on the bookshelf for the last seven months. My enjoyment of the tight final few frames of snooker were ruined by delightful tit-bits on birthing positions and anal tear risks. At one point, she started to ask about perineal massage - just as Higgins gloriously potted the brown! My biggest fear of being at my son's birth is the risk of witnessing my wife engaged in an uncontrollable bowel movement. Although, she has helpfully pointed out that if we have a water birth I will at least have a job to do - I just need to purchase a fishing net for the occasion! Our conversation then moved on to our preparations for the big day or night. I was told that I would need to know the daytime and evening telephone number of Bournemouth General's maternity unit as she might not be able to call them when we reach action stations. Also on the list of 'need to have items' presented to me was "a pocket full of pound coins for the parking meter at the hospital car park." On reading this I told my wife: "No need, we'll park in Tescos for free. It's only a 7 minute walk!" She replied by going to bed and asking me to think about it. Pray tell me. How far can a woman walk when in the early stages of labour?
Come visit my store on CafePress!
No comments:
Post a Comment