Fearing she'd spotted another mouse in our kitchen, I jumped on to the nearest chair as if I were Mammy Two Shoes, the heavy-set middle-aged black woman in the 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons. It wasn't my finest moment and probably on a par with yesterday's mousetrap episode, when I pleaded with her to dispose of Mickey as the poor dead rodent scared the living daylights out of me.
"No, you idiot! Look at my belly! Joe-Joe's dropped!"
"How do you know?"
"I could see my belly button this morning and now I can't," she replied. At the time that was a good enough technical explanation for me, but when she went to bed (at 9pm) I searched the Net for a better one. I wish I hadn't. According to babycenter.com, after your baby drops "some pregnancy complaints may get worse [is that possible?], while others may improve [Thank God for small mercies]. On the one hand, your baby will be taking up more room in your pelvis [cue more moaning], so you'll probably find that you have to urinate even more often than before.[More than six times a night! Surely not!] You may get an uncomfortable feeling of pressure deep in your pelvis, feel increasing discomfort when you walk [no more high heels] and even begin to waddle a bit.[I'll try my best not to laugh!]
"On the other hand, with less pressure on your stomach, you'll be able to eat a little more without feeling uncomfortably full [more late night demands for chocolate from the corner store], and if you've been suffering from heartburn, you may get some relief.[knowing my wife it will get worse!] You'll probably find that breathing feels easier, too." [hurrah, she might not snore quite so badly!]
All the same, I think I'll sleep on the sofa tonight but will keep one eye open so I can laugh at her waddling to the loo at 2am. Pee! Hee!
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