Mother-in-law nightmare!

I returned home from a soul destroying day breaking down cardboard boxes at Halfords to discover that 'The Dragon' (my mother-in-law) is moving into a flat in the next street!

Granny Mary and Grandpa Mike have been trying to sell their three-bedroom house in rural Dorset for over a year with no luck - and now their woe has become mine following their decision to rent for the summer a stones throw from Joe-Joe and Me in sunny Bournemouth.

The walk from our flat to theirs took just TWO MINUTES AND 35 SECONDS when I timed it on the way to the locksmiths on the high road where I bought a new lock and set of keys for our front door. I'll change the lock before the wife gets home tomorrow evening and reclaim the back door key from her keyring just in case that finds its way into Cruella de Vil's handbag.

Granny Mary currently spends two days a week at her other daughter's house where she has her own key and spends most of her time looking after grandson number one, drinking gin and washing her son-in-law's underpants - but not necessarily in that order.