The teenage girls at the all girls secondary school where my wife teaches were united (for once) in horror last week at the news that Mrs. Hawkins' husband plans to bring his newly-born son home from hospital next month in a Tottenham Hotspur 2010/11 kit sleepsuit.
"Oh My God Miss! You're having a Chav* baby!" was the collective cry from the spotty 15-year-olds in my wife's form. Their disdain was apparently closely followed by a forceful plea that went something like: "Miss, you can't let him do it! Your baby doesn't deserve that sort of introduction to the world!"
It would be fair to say that it's taken Deborah a fair few months to get her head round the fact that we've not created something made of 'sugar and spice and all things nice'. In truth, her reaction on being told by the midwife at our 20-week scan that we'd created a foetus from 'frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails' was to burst into tears! It really was quite embarrassing for me! Thankfully, my wife's since assured me (and more importantly herself) that she's happy that my sperm's all powerful Y gene has indeed come good for me. (I wanted a boy from the moment the pregnancy test proved positive)
The Joan of Arc-type rallying cry at the all girls school hasn't helped my push to see Joe-Joe return from Bournemouth General in this season's classic Champions League strip. Yesterday Deborah declared: "Forget it! It's not going to happen! My girls can't see me as a weak-willed walkover. He's coming home in this nice blue striped sleepsuit." Really! What the one (below) that looks like a convict's suit! As you'd imagine I'm not happy at all and will be pushing my case against this Chelsea blue criminal number right up until the middle of June. In the meantime, I've since returned from the Tottenham Hotspur megastore with this rather fetching Tottenham '82 hoodie. Joe-Joe will be looking great in this around Christmas time. 
* Chav probably has its origins in the Romani word "chavi", meaning "child" (or "chavo", meaning "boy",or "chavvy", meaning "youth". This word may have entered the English language through the Geordie dialect word charva, meaning a rough child.
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