Now that's what I call the best birthing album in the world ever!

Now that's what I call the SECOND BEST birthing album in the world ever!

With Joe-Joe due to arrive one week today, my nervous wife yesterday dragged me along to the Royal Bournemouth for a second visit aimed at familiarizing ourselves with the hospital's maternity suite. (She obviously didn't think I was paying attention when we visited six weeks ago!)

I'm proud to say that during our first visit with a group of about 10 other expectant parents I was the only man to ask the midwives a question.

"Are we allowed to bring our own CDs to play on the birthing suite's CD player?" The answer was "Yes". Shortly after the reply, my wife asked her only question:

"How many birthing partners can I have?"

"We allow two," said the midwife. To which Deborah replied: "Good. I'll also have my mum ready as I don't think I can stand my husband being there for too long."

Anyway, I'm going to make sure I'm there long enough to play the CD that I've made up for the occasion.

It took me over seven hours to study the 10,000 song titles available on my Apple's iTunes to come up with my essential collection of 18 birthing tracks. Three hours were spent just deciding on the running order as I found it difficult transporting myself into the atmosphere of a maternity ward's delivery room with me and my wife in it.  

Here goes, and apologies to Deborah who was expecting me to purchase 'The Best Pan Pipes Album in the World Ever!' for the occasion.

'NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL THE BEST BIRTHING ALBUM IN THE WORLD EVER!'

Click on the song to play the YouTube video!

1. 'CAN YOU FEEL IT' - The Jacksons
(The contractions have started!)

2. 'BABY DRIVER' - Simon & Garfunkel
(For the drive to the hospital) 

3. 'I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW' - Kelis
(Turned up loud to drown out my wife's expletives when the going gets tough)

4. 'TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT MY BABY' - Marvin Gaye
(For when she's concentrating on the job in hand) 

5. 'WATERBABY' - Sneaker Pimps 
(When running the taps to the birthing pool)

6. 'PUSH IT!' - Salt-n-Pepa
(A personal favourite. I'll struggle not to laugh when doing the dance moves and singing to this at the top of my voice!)

7. 'GAS PANIC!' - Oasis
(Time for gas and air!)

8. 'RING OF FIRE' - Johnny Cash
(Special thanks to my sister-in-law Sarah for revealing that midwives refer to the moment when the baby crowns as 'The Ring of Fire')

9. 'IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL IT'S OVER - Lenny Kravitz
(A gentle reminder that a little more effort from the mother is required)

10. 'TO THE END' - Blur 
("You and I collapsed in love. It looks like we might have made it to the end.")

11. 'TAKE A BOW' - Madonna
(Well done Mummy. Joe-Joe's here!)

12. 'BABY DON'T CRY' - INXS
(My son might cry after being thrust out of his old home)

13. 'BABY, IT'S YOU' - The Beatles
(Joe-Joe will probably have Deborah's wobbly bottom lip and my big nose. Poor thing.) 

14. 'BLUE EYES' - Elton John
(Apparently most babies are born with blue eyes)

15. 'BABY, CAN I HOLD YOU' - Tracy Chapman
(Time for skin-to-skin)

16. 'MILK' - Garbage
(Something mellow for Joe-Joe to listen to when it's boob time)

17. 'YOU'RE TENDER AND YOU'RE TIRED' - The Manic Street Preachers
(Probably applicable to both mother and baby)

18. 'ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE' - The Beatles
(I've heard there's a good version by some Peruvian pan pipers)

Bonus track (only available in the U.S.)

'BORN IN THE USA' by Bruce Springsteen


You can buy the 'second best' birthing album in the world ever!