Joe-Joe's Christmas Gruffalo

1. Joe-Joe's first Christmas was spent in Essex at Auntie Nina and Uncle Mark's house. It's O.K., we told Santa our son wouldn't be at home in Bournemouth and arranged for his presents to be dropped down their chimney instead.

It was my first Christmas with the Baileys since 2006 as in recent years we've spent the festive period being waited on hand and foot at my wife's parents in Sturminster Newton, Dorset. However, this year I fancied a change and so invited myself and my family to spend it with my sister, her husband and their two children. Luckily, they were only too happy for Joe-Joe's massive travelling wardrobe to be dumped on them for three nights. My mother Jean also joined us for turkey and all the trimmings and just like previous years we sat back, drank wine and enjoyed watching someone else slave over a hot stove to prepare our biggest meal of the year.

Joe looks amazed at Nannie Jean's Crimbo delivery

Nannie Jean provided the entertainment on Christmas Eve when she rocked up with three large bags full to the brim with presents for her three grandchildren. Harrison, 9, Mariella, 3, and Joe screamed with delight as they unwrapped one treat after another from what seemed like a Penn and Teller magic bag that just kept giving. After Harrison had pulled what seemed like his twentieth bar of chocolate from it, I told him how lucky he was as when I was his age my Christmas pillow case contained one orange, two walnuts, a few chocolate coins and school uniform!

You can't eat the bowl, try the Milkybar buttons!

• My wife and I had hummed and hawed over what to put in Joe-Joe's first begging letter to Father Christmas. Deborah wanted to compile a wish list of items from Baby Gap, but in the end we decided on an ugly cuddly toy after spotting one on a shelf in the children's section of the Waterstone's book store. Joe-Joe's favourite bedtime story is Julia Donaldson's 'The Gruffalo', a tale about a mouse's walk in the woods. The Gruffalo toy with its terrible tusks, terrible claws and terrible teeth in terrible jaws cost £25 in Waterstone's, but I helpfully informed Santa's elves that one could be purchased on the Amazon web site for £12. It duly arrived on Christmas morning and as you can see from the photo, Joe-Joe was terribly pleased to have received it.

First present from Mummy and Daddy - a Gruffalo

Joe-Joe in jumper knitted by Nannie Jean

DADDY DAYCARE - Open for business

Deborah returned to work last Friday after six months on maternity leave and I officially took up my post as a full-time stay-at-home Dad. I'd been dreading my first day in the job, as my wife had decided that my first morning would be spent at Minky Moos - a musical sensory experience for newborns at my local children's centre.

During her time on maternity leave Deborah took Joe-Joe to practically every mother and baby group in Bournemouth. It's been good for her, and my son, as they've made lots of new friends. It's been good for me too, as I've managed to spend many quiet hours picking my fantasy football dream team on the PremierLeague.com website. I'm sure my wife would have preferred it if I'd accompanied her to a few of these daytime activities, or at least have kept my negative thoughts about them to myself. After much persuasion, I did attend 'Wriggle and Rhyme' at our local library a few Saturdays ago. I felt like a right fool mumbling along to long-forgotten nursery rhymes with one other mother and the librarian as bemused patrons looked on instead of silently flicking through books. 

I was one of the first parents to arrive at Minky Moos and nervously took up a spot with Joe-Joe at the side of the hall - a position I'm sure he'd never occupied before as Deborah always likes to be in the thick of the action. I kept my head down and played with my son as the hall filled up. After five minutes I looked up and saw that I was now on the edge of a very large circle of 25 other Mums and their babies. To my horror, I also realised that my child was not wearing a Christmas-themed outfit. At six-months-old, even Joe-Joe looked embarrassed to be the only one donning a T shirt and jeans and surrounded by well-dressed Baby Santas, elves, reindeer and snowmen. To make matters worse, I'd also given him odd socks! 

I tried my best to ignore the many stares aimed our way and grabbed Joe-Joe some sleigh bells to shake to the Christmas tunes belting out of pink tracksuited Penny's glitter ball stereo. Thankfully, the mums sitting next to me took pity and tried to make me feel at home, although my wife had failed to warn me that they'd whip out a boob to feed their baby halfway through the ordeal. I didn't know where to look and settled on counting the number of tiles on the floor. There were 106.

After about half a dozen Christmas songs and an interesting coloured light show, Penny's 'special guest' arrived. It was of course Father Christmas, except this one had a big fat comical head. A scrum of 25 mums quickly formed and they politely jostled each other in order that their darling daughter or son had their picture taken with Santa. Every baby there got a photo - every one except mine. Poor Joe-Joe. His Daddy hasn't got a mobile phone with a camera - at least, not yet, although I'm pleased to say that my wife has sanctioned the purchase of one. I wonder if she'll mind if I buy that rather expensive new iPhone?

Cardboard Christmas

Times are definitely hard in the Hawkins household this Christmas. Deborah has been on maternity leave since June and I'm working just two days a week at Halfords in Poole. It's back-breaking work for peanuts and this 41-year-old has managed to put his back out a couple of times moving heavy bicycles around the racking in the store's warehouse.

I returned from work on Monday though with a spring in my step and a six foot high cardboard cut-out Christmas tree spread across the back seat. It looked good on display in the store and I figured it would look just as good in the spot reserved in our hallway for our festive pine.

I excitedly pulled it out of my Renault Megane  (I'd folded it in two to get into the car) and hurriedly rushed through the front door shouting out to my wife: "Quick! Come and have a look at the six foot tree that I got for FREE!" She rushed out of the kitchen with Joe-Joe in her arms and almost dropped him on seeing my festive effort at penny pinching. "That's crap! I want it out of our hallway and replaced with a real tree by tomorrow morning!"

My free tree stayed one extra day as I don't like to do exactly what my wife says. It now resides outside in our big cardboard recycle bin and today I replaced it with a five foot real tree which cost £20. Before I leave for work tomorrow morning, I'll remind her indoors that I'll have to work three and a half hours at Halfords to pay for it.

Joe-Joe's first Christmas present.

Joe-Joe's been dropping hints all week on what he wants for Christmas. He keeps looking through the Spurs Shop catalogue and leaving it open on the Baby page. I think he's got his eye on a  Chirpy the Spurs mascot rattle, but I don't think he's got much chance as his  mother is firmly against football goodies. For her, it's Baby Gap all the way.

We've already got Joe-Joe a really cool present for his first Christmas, but I'll keep it under wraps just in case he reads this blog.   

Mush, mush and more mush.

It's OK son, I feel that way about cabbage too!

 
We started weaning Joe-Joe about six weeks ago and it's been great fun. He likes practically every mush that we put in front of him - even parsnips and cauliflower - as my wife's helpful chart on our fridge shows.  

Personally, I like the idea behind baby led weaning where you feed them proper food and none of the mush - that's no purees, no ice cube trays, no food processor, no masher and no weird fruit and veg combos. Maybe tonight I'll hand him a pork chop and just let him get on with it!